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Whom ‘Not’ to take to the movies

One word to describe an amazing cinema experience is: ‘magic.’ It’s true that nothing beats watching a much-awaited film on the large screen with friends. A good movie, some soda, popcorn and chips (occasional indulgences while fighting the battle of the bulge) and good company are all indeed ingredients for a fun-filled evening.
Although charming company at any outing/event is considered ‘icing on the cake’ but being saddled with someone annoying can seriously bring back memories as painful as the root canal experience at the dentist’s office. Being a movie buff and a veteran of frequent cinema visits, we thought we’d warn you about the following party-stoppers. Their presence at the cinema will do you no good. Here are the types to avoid:
1. Can never remember to shut-off their cell-phone: One of the most common types that we see, this one will constantly be texting, uploading a picture or two on social media, (must tell the world that they went). Moreover some don’t even bother to turn off the ringer which can cause further aggravation especially when the phone rings at the most critical moments.

2. Obsessed with snacks: This one lives to eat. His / her prime directive is to raid the snack bar at the movie theatre and prove that gluttony is indeed on top of their list of seven sins. Aside from munching away like there’s no tomorrow they have some additional annoying habits. These include slurping sodas too loud, producing crackling sounds with chips or popcorn packets and of course not sharing any of the goodies with the rest of the pack (despite having enough to feed a small army or an impoverished village).

3. The cynic / critic: This one is never satisfied. The acting, direction, screenplay and the camerawork are never up to the mark for these types. The plot is always too far-fetched and this one is especially allergic to the formula of ‘happy endings’. Why does everything work out in the end? Why (with such impossible odds) does the hero ends up saving the world, getting the treasure and girl but not any serious injuries or a painful rash? You have to instruct this one to repeat the ancient chant “it’s only a movie” over and over again.

4. The diehard fan: The diehard fans usually make up the bulk of the movie audience especially if the screenplay was adapted from a comic, book or a game franchise. They make excellent company for movies provided the director, producer and writer have ‘not’ deviated from the original plot. But if they have, Lord help you for no one else can and then be prepared for an endless rambling on how the movie ‘massacred the franchise.’

5. The Sleeper: These are most benign of the lot. Mostly burned out from a long day / week at work, they end to pass out mostly after 20-30 minutes into the plot, no matter how gripping it is. These rarely cause any problems unless they start snoring, drooling or tilt onto your side of the seat.

Now that you stand warned about who to avoid to the movies, you can proceed to the theater with you near and dear ones, while shunning these like the plague.

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